Global, constant, instant and...permanent.

Everything you say will be used against you.

I am a private person. I love my family and I have a special place in my heart for my home. I enjoy being a dad to my two boys Owen & Wyatt more than I can say and I'm the world's best husband...and as you can tell by that statement I'm an optimist. Not the official kind of optimist, I have no idea what they do in their clubs, just the general kind of "I love life and you should too" optimist.

My problem is that while I'm a private and family oriented optimist (that sounds like a graduate degree you'd spend many years earning) I also love the Church. Not just "my church" (churchonthemove.com...which is AWESOME by the way) or "a church" but the Church, big C. I love Jesus and I believe with all my heart that He is the reason I love life. He is the reason I have hope and peace. He is the reason I don't live in fear or worry constantly about the economy and politics. I don't worry about loosing my wife or my car getting broken into, my password getting stolen or my body breaking down with disease. I care about all those things but they don't run my life.

So, what's the problem with that?

Well, the first problem is the fact that I love Jesus more than I love being a private optimist. My love for His work through the local and global Church makes it very difficult for me to sit quietly in the home I am so fond of next to the family I love and quietly think to myself "life is good" while I know there are people who will struggle to sleep tonight without that same hope and peace.

That makes me a public person. Not out of a desire to be seen. Not because my personality loves to be the life of the party. I am a public person because I know that if I am not, someone, somewhere will not see Jesus.

I believe the Church, when healthy and honest, is made up of people who are willing to live publicly what they experience privately - a life of peace and hope - an example that others can see. An example that reflects the miracle of the Gospel, God come to earth. The miracle of the only world view that sees God not as one we chase and must sacrifice to please, but as the pursuer. The one who chases you and gives everything for that crazy love...for you. I believe that when pure, the Church causes people to notice. It causes people to ask questions and begin to search for the truth themselves.

The second problem is, people actually ask these questions. All people ask questions, including me. We question whether or not a deal is too good to be true, we question whether politicians are corrupt and we form conspiracy theories. It's natural, and we do the same thing with God. So, if people ask questions about God and then see the constant compromise in many who follow Him, it inevitably leads to doubt.

Doubt is a powerful thing. When we doubt something it colors every interaction with it. If you doubt your computer, you pull the files off of it immediately. If your unsure of your car, your not likely to take it on a long road trip. If you doubt my view of God, will you be likely to put any amount of eternal, life changing trust in Him? Probably not.

We understand doubt related to the most everyday things. I believe there are many who have pushed back the issue of God because of the contradictions they see, much like a person who distrusts their car or computer. They have pushed away because they are unsure of His stability. They have seen failures, shortcomings and seeming contradictions in culture and are left skeptical.

The problem with taking my private hope and peace in Jesus public is that everything I say will be used against me. Everything I say will be available instantly to anyone who wants to attempt to tear it apart. It will be globally accessible to anyone, anywhere. It will be constantly visible, not occasionally, but all the time - and, it will be permanent. It will not be erasable, it will be public.

I know these things. I know that there is an enormous amount of negative sludge in the pool of Christianity. I know that many have turned away and I know that even more will do the same.

But, these problems pale when I consider that I have met Jesus and what else can I do? I cannot remain private. It's intensely personal to me. So, I will begin to write here on these pages as I serve my family, my church family and my community.

My prayer is that as I write thoughts, observations and personal experiences in this format, the Holy Spirit of God would spark in you and nudge you to begin a search. A search for the reasons you doubt God and the reasons you put that faith in other things instead. Friends, stuff, approval, power and even family can only fill a part of the hole in your heart. My prayer is that you would search, because I believe that every honest and heartfelt search ends at the feet of Jesus.

May your search reveal what God says about you everyday. You are loved.